How do you deal then?
Do you have someone holding a grudge against you?
Someone being mean or just rude to you no matter how nice you are to them?
When we think of a "grudge" we think of words like hate, contempt, spite and hostility. Now there are any number of reasons why someone would be holding a grudge against someone but usually it just comes down to envy and jealousy. We could easily get caught up in the hate and jealousy ourselves and retaliate but obviously that is not what God wants us to do.
God wants us to love.
Contrary to what we have always been told about love is blind, Philipp. 1:9-10 tells us to love with knowledge and incite. God never intends on us loving blindly and dealing with grudges and forgiveness is no different.
So why is this person being so hateful to you?
Well evaluate your actions and ensure you have done everything in a loving, Christian manner and your heart is right and if you still come up wondering why...perhaps this person is not experiencing the fullness of God and the Holy Spirit.
So what do you do about it?
Ask God for insight into what is broken in that person so you can have compassion.
If you don't have compassion on people like this, if you are not careful yourself...one day you could become broken just like them...bitter and angry.
So why are these kind of people in our lives?
Why would God even have us deal with such things?
Seams cruel, huh? Not really.
Has it ever occured to you that these people were assigned to our lives...for a specific purpose?
God positioned these people in our lives.
To test us.
To grow us.
To teach us.
To make us better people.
So what happens if you have tried all of this and nothing works?
You forgave.
You continue to take the high road.
You always did right by this person.
And still they hold a grudge that you just can't get past.
We have to consider whether or not this was a relationship God intended. Is it a toxic relationship. Some relationships were not meant to be restored. As long as we are obedient to God and we love, we forgive, we lay down our pride and give it to him, we have pleased him. that is all we can do.
So maybe you didn't do anything to provoke a grudge within your family, at school or at work or with someone you once thought of as a good friend.
In 1 Samuel (1 Sam 16:15-26:25), King Saul held a grudge against David. David didn't do anything to provoke the grudge, in fact, he had slain the giant Goliath on behalf of King Saul. But when people started praising David for this heroic deed, Saul became so jealous, he began plotting his death. After repeated evil acts and attempts on David's life, one day Saul and his men fell in a deep sleep allowing David to get close enough to kill him but he didn't. David spared Sauls life even knowing Saul held this grudge and tried to kill him over and over. You too can use David's strategy and not become vengeful by returning evil for evil. Remember or lesson on "kill'em with kindness"?
We can look to Jesus as an example so we can also forgive the person holding the grudge against us (if we haven't already done so).
Matt. 5:44-45 tells us to love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us.
Proverbs 16:17 says "When the Lord takes pleasure in any ones way, he causes their enemies to make peace with them"
The Bible talks over and over about how God rewards not returning evil for evil and having compassion for those who may be our enemies or holding grudges against us.
So keep your Christan values and always be the better person because it will set you free just as it says in John 8:31-32 "So Jesus was saying to those Jews who had believed Him, 'If you continue in my word, then you are truly disciples of mine; and you know the truth, and the truth will make you free."
Let it set you free.
Resources: Godlywoman.com, Loving Well Bible Study by Beth More
Awesome. It also helps to own up to anything you may have done wrong in the relationship. Even if they are 90% wrong and you are only 10% wrong, repent for your 10%! Then the spiritual ball is in their court. Great post!
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